• Tired of sitting through endless FAST trailers with banging music?
• Weary of working out non-standard DVD selection menus?
• Don't want to watch another film in an obscure language by accident?
• Not interested in 3rd rate out-takes and actor interviews?

Then you need our unnovative DVD control with its unique "Just play the b* * * * y film!" button - it's extra large so even drunken digits can locate it amongst the crisp packets, pizza boxes and half-empty beer cans.

Only £79.65 including VAT from our web site, or available to order at your local TV and radio emporium. Allow 68 days for delivery, as each is hand-crafted to order by trained bears in Bavaria.

Why not buy one for the weekend, and save all that unnecessary rage and heartache?