From the Uplyme Gazette, June 31st

"Devon housewife Lois Wakeman was expecting a delivery of a new sofa and chair from Tesco Direct last week.

"She was somewhat bemused to be called on the day of delivery by a Tesco rep, claiming that the delivery driver had only just noticed that the sofa had three legs. He then went on to encourage Mrs Wakeman to accept the sofa to see if she could do something with it. Leaving her more lurid speculations aside, suffice it to say that the delivery was declined, and a replacement scheduled.

"That wasn't the end of the story however. The next day, she received a 'phone call from a shadowy organisation calling itself the FDRC, warning her that she was being considered for prosecution, on a charge of unfairly discriminating against a three legged sofa, which with a little attention, glue and a piece of 2x4, could perform a useful role in society.

"She's still waiting to hear if anything will happen on this front, but feels unfairly victimised, as she already has an office chair with a wonky wheel that has not been abandoned, and sleeps in a bed with a missing castor."